SEPTEMBER CHILL

i miss the jc i once knew..

the one who gave time to text just to check up on me..

the one who would move mountains just to be with me..

the love who embraces me when i sleep..

and the one who would look me in the eyes and tell me that he loves me..

if that jc wont totally come back..

i would only ask for a part of it..

just a small part of the old jc..

but if it would be impossible..

then i guess ill just have to accept that some people do change as time passes by..

but despite and inspite..

i love you no less...

i love you..

more than you'll ever know..

This was the message I sent him in his Friendster last September 10, 2008. Every year, this seems to be the month when he becomes cold and I can no longer understand him. It's like the world turned upside down. He's like a riddle I can't solve. An encrypted message I can't decipher. Sometimes, it feels like it is as if he no longer needs me, like a plant that no longer needs the light of day to survive.


September 2006 was somehow different. It was the time when i found out that he still has a girlfriend in Manila. It was a mistake when I didn't listen to the people around me when they told me that he really does have a girlfriend there even before he transferred here in GenSan.


I can't recall what happened on September 2007 but i bet it's the same old thing. Coldness.


And this year, its happening again. I am trying to hold on, but i don't know if I still have something to hold on to. Like a child trying to stand up and walk, waiting for a helping hand to reach out, only to find out that no one is there.


But despite of it all, I am still here.. waiting for the next month, so all could be better again. Hoping and wishing that someday, one day, somehow, the OLD him will come back. But i guess that would all be wishful thinking.


Then again, they say that if you really love the person and had accepted him for who and what he is, the love you feel will never ever change, even if he changes in the middle of the relationship.