LiFe'S Too CoMPLiCaTeD..

Sacrifices

2010-05-19T02:20:00.000+08:00

Girl: "Happy 46th monthsary.. I can feel that your leaving soon and i wanna thank you for all those wonderful memories we've shared.. Thank you for being my own angel from the very beginning. I love you so much.. More than you'll ever know.. Remember me always.."

Guy: "Happy monthsary dn poh! Love you.. Wag mo isipin na pagkagrad ko maghihiwalay na tayo. Instead, think of it as a phase in our relationship wherein we have to face where we got to be then from there, we'll pick up where we left off."

Girl: "I'm not that strong.."

Guy: "Think I'm strong?"

Girl: "You've been through a lot.. I know you are."

Guy: "We make each other stronger.. We draw our strength from each other.. We just have to make sacrifices."

Girl: "I know.. But we both know, deep down, that long distance relationship does not actually work out fine."

Guy: "I've been through shit a lot of worse than this and I don't think distance is gonna keep me away from what I want in life."

Girl: "And I hate it when people who are important to me leaves.. But I want you to know that when that time comes, I'm not gonna hold you back.. I don't want to be a hindrance to your happiness.. I just want you to promise me that you'll always remember me.. Even if I'm not the one."

My May Heartbreak

2010-05-14T01:10:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow makes me think of the most important person in my life whom I lost 3 years ago. It makes my heart bleed as if I had been stabbed and that my life was taken away from me in an instant. But the most painful thing is that I am still alive to feel the hurt and sorrow of losing you. It makes me teary-eyed wondrin' what you look like right now and how happy i would be if you were here beside me.. kissing and embracing me lovingly.. making me as your number ONE woman in your life.

Still, no matter how much I long for you to be back, time can't turn its hands back. And now all I have are short vague memories of you. But knowing that you came and was part of my whole existence for a while, makes me smile and say "Thank you for crossing my way.." I miss you baby.. My angel and blessing in disguise..

Notebook Archive 2

2010-05-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

I've been trying to say the right words to you, but it just wouldn't come out right. I tried to make things perfect, but it just couldn't...'Coz every time I do, I'd still make another mistake that may or may not change everything.

Still, giving up was never an option. Moving forward is the only direction we must take. 'Coz tomorrow is a new day, bound to correct the mistakes of yesterday.. To live with it and learn from it.

Notebook Archive 1

2010-05-14T00:00:00.002+08:00

There are things in life that you can't control...and things that you can. It just depends on the choices you make. Sometimes, you choose the things that will make your love ones happy..and other times, you go for the things that will make YOU happy. Either way, consequences are at the end every road.

Life is definitely a big roller coaster ride. It will have its loops and curves. But a friend once told said, just enjoy the ride. Go with the flow. 'Cause when it's done, a smile will surely be planted on your lips and will make you say that it was worth being scared out of your wits..

Tropa Noon.. Hanggang Ngayon..

2010-05-04T02:24:00.001+08:00

--See girl we used to be a team
Running the streets
Ya we was living out our dream, ohh
You used to be my rider
I was your provider--

Halata bang sobra tayong gala? Simula noon, hanggang ngayon.. Saan man mapadpad.. At kahit anong oras man, go pah rin.. Halo-halong trip.. kain.. yosi.. kape.. kain ulit.. yosi ulit.. lakad.. hahaha! parang walang paki-alam sa mundo.. Basta magkasama, sakto na ang trip na toh..

--Now we separated in two
Oh when we was burning up the block
And everybody know when we step in the spot, ohh
See, we was like the dynamic duo
Id never thought that youd go , but you did
You did--

Sino nga bah una nang-iwan? haha! bangayan na toh.. pero kung sino man, ayos lang yun.. di naman siguro natin masisisi ang isa't isa kung bakit nagkaganon.. May kanya-kanya pah rin tayong buhay..

Nakakatawang isip na dati, akala ng mga tao na tayo nga... "Dynamic Dou" ika nga ng kanta.. kaso hindi eh.. tropa kung tropa.. walang taluhan.. un ang motto ng mga grupong puro lalake... One of the boys na nga ako... kaya wala ng babae sa mga magkakaibigan..

--You was the beat onto my top line
Put us together
And you offered it the rewind
See, you give me a purpose
Now I'm getting nervous
That my heart will never sing again--

rewind daw... parang replay.. ulitin ang panahon.. para masabi ang mga dapat sabihin.. gawin ang mga dapat gawin.. pero kahit ano pang gustong mangyari, hindi na pweden maulit ang dati..

Ngayon, muling nagkalapit.. Iba na ang pananaw sa mga bagay na dati ang walang kabuluhan.. Nagkaroon na ng kaliwanagan..

--Cuz I was so high
And now I'm so low
And I dont wanna walk around alone, solo
I said I dont want to walk this earth
If I gotta do it solo (solo, solo)--

Ang dami na nating napagdaanan.. At kahit nagkalayo man, di pah rin nagkalimutan.. Kaya ngayon, eto lang masasabi ko.. wag mo ko iwan ha? kahit ano man ang mangyari.. tropa noon.. hanggang ngayon.. :D

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

2010-05-04T02:22:00.002+08:00

Here i am.. In the stillness of the night.. trying to make my way out of this prison cell.. Unguarded.. Ever so quietly walking so close to the cell bars.. Not making any sound.. The prison guard is fast asleep..

ALAS!! i have escaped.. free to roam under the night sky.. To be magically drifted to a place where an escaped convict is waiting.. To be partners in crime repeatedly..

Time pass by so quickly.. Its 3am.. Time to end all misfits.. and return to the lonely cell unnoticed.. As if i haven't gone anywhere..

Re-entering my cell is more difficult.. Footsteps.. Chimes.. Lock.. Clock.. I am back inside!! Not a trace of evidence..

I have completed my task.. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE made POSSIBLE...

CoFFee, PRiNGLeS, NeSTea and RePLaY

2010-05-04T02:15:00.001+08:00

COFFEE:

Bakit kaya nauso ang kape? Yung tipong ginagawa na tong rason para lang magkita ang mga magkakaibigan.. Gaya ng linyang "Let's talk things over coffee." or "Saan ka? Wala kong magawa.. Kape tayo." Nakaka-aliw isipin na ng dahil sa kape, magkakaroon kayo ng panahon na mapag-usapan ang mga bagay-bagay sa mundo, makabuluhan man o hindi.. Basta nandyan ang kaibigan at ang kape.

PRINGLES:

"Once you pop, you can't stop." Eto ang famous tag line ng Pringles. Totoo nga naman, di mo na matatantanan pagnasimulan mo ng kainin. Pero mas nakatatak sa aking isipan ang ad nito sa TV. Mga magbabarkadang nagkakatuwaan habang kumakain ng Pringles. Masarap isipin na pag nandyan ang barkada, kahit saan at kahit ano pah ang trip, ok pah sa alright basta't magkakasama.

NESTEA:

"Take the plunge." Bakit di na lang din ganon ang motto ng mga tao? Yung willing sila to take the risk sa mga bagay na di nila tiyak kung ano ang kahihinatnan subalit gusto pah rin nilang subukan para malaman kung ano ang mangyayari. Sana nga ganito na lang, para walang "what ifs" sa mundo. Walang regrets.

REPLAY:

Bagong kanta toh! Pero minsan naisip ko, kung pwede lang sana mareplay ang buhay para may magbago naman kahit maliit lang. Para wala yung panghihinayang sa mga bagay na di nagawa o nasabi. Yung masasabi mong "Eto yung tamang gawin. Di ko to pagsisisihan sa huli.."

Magulo noh? Pero eto ang combo ng buhay ko.. Masaya, malungkot, magulo. Pero ayos lang. Basta ba't nandyan ang COFFEE, PRINGLES, NESTEA para busugin ako at musikang REPLAY para aliwin ako, ayos na ang trip.

CRySTaL CLeaR

2010-02-09T20:16:00.001+08:00

Earlier this afternoon, we were called in for another briefing.. This time, it was something I am sure that I know.. Glasses and equipments used in the hotel's restaurant..

I noticed during the briefing that even most of the permanent waiters and waitresses in the hotel are not familiar with all the glasses presented in front of us. And i know a LOT more than my co-trainees who comes from a known HM college here in Malaysia (not that im boasting or anything..im just saying the truth). It made me realize how lucky I am to have my education in the Philippines.

In our school, we are taught with almost everything and anything that an HM student should know. Bits and pieces of lectures from the tiniest detail to the most grandeur.

With this, I came to the conclusion that education in our country is WAY BETTER compared here..

LaNGuaGe BaRRieR?

2010-02-07T21:11:00.001+08:00

I have been here in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for the past 8 days.. And i have found out that though this country has diversified cultures and other local dialects, English is still not the most common thing for them.

Even if they have many tourists everyday roaming in and out around the city, sometimes, they have this so-called language barriers between the Malays and the foreigners..

I asked one taxi drivers why this is so.. He said that the mode of teaching in their schools is Bahasa Malay.. Which i found very patriotic unlike in our country where we use English and take Filipino as a subject only.. Is this because English is the language most widely use when people do out of our country? Or is it because we, Filipinos, look up to the Americans? Whatever the reason may be, I still am proud to be called a Filipina.. :D

SALAMAT AT KULELAT AKO!

2009-11-01T04:25:00.001+08:00

Part 1

Salamat Sa Magikero

Sa isang pagsasalo-salo ng mga bloggers sa Gensan, may lumapit na isang magikero sa grupo naming magkakaibigan. Nakipagkilala at nagkwento ng kaunti. Pinakitaan nya ng simple tricks ang mga batang kasama ko: coin na nahuhulog pataas, at iba’t iba pang coin tricks na napanood ko na sa Exposed. Saydang namangha ang mga kasama ko sa mga pinapakita nyang tricks habang ako naman ay patuloy na kumakain ng aking hapunan (tapos na silang maghapunan kaya ako na lang).

Nang natapos ang show ni Mamang Magikero, binigyan nya kami ng kanyang calling card. Subalit ng iaabot na nya dapat ang para sakin, nagpakitang gilas muli si Mamang Magikero at binali-baliktad ang calling card nyang animo’y walang sulat. Subalit nagulat na lamang sya ng sinabi kong “Alam kong nasa likod ang printa nyan”. Laking taka nya ng sabihin ko ito at tama nga naman ako. Akala nyang mabilis na ang kanyang kamay, ngunit mas matalas ang aking mata (o sadyang nakita ko na ang trick na iyon o nabasa sa isang libro). Sabi ko nga sa kanya “It’s all in the hands.” Papakitaan nya pa sana ako ng isa pang trick subalit kami ay paalis na (SAYANG!!)

Ilang oras ang nakalipas at nakachat ko sya sa facebook. Usap-usap ng konte hanggang sa naabot sa pagbo-blog an aming usapan. At para sa kaalaman ng lahat, OO! Blogger xa!

Hindi ko makakalimutan ang sabi nya “Blog about anything that you feel and think”. Ganda ng advice! At eto na nga. After 48 years na di nakapagpost, ayan! Meron na ulit.

Laking salamat ko sa Mamang Magikero na nag-udyok sa akin upang gawin ang blog post na ‘to. Ang kung sisipagin, may magiging mga kasunod pah. Salamat sa iyo Mamang Magikero at naimulat mo ako sa kagandahan ng blogging. Samantalang bigo naman ako sa pag-eengganyo sa iyo na magPlurk na rin para join ka na sa Plurk Fiesta!

Hindi lamang si Mamang Magikero ang nag-uudyok sakin para magsulat. Madami na sila. Gaya na lamang ng aking nag-iisang Ganda-Ever-So-Much nanay-nanayan! Sabi nya, may “potential” DAW ako. Nandyan din ang isang sikat na isda sa ating lungsod, si Bariles na habang lumalangoy sa karagatan ng kasiyahan at tagumpay ay nagbigay ng oras para basahin ang aking mga maiksing artikulo. At sa iba pang may paniniwala na may “potential” nga ako, salamat sa pagpupursigeng engganyuhin akong magsulat ng kung anu-ano, salamat sa inyo.

Part 2

Kulelat Ako

Sa puntong ito, malamang nababagot na kayo sa kakabasa at ako naman ay nalilito kung bakit sa pagkakataong ito, sa wikang Filipino ang entry ko. Sadyang di ko mawari na kaya ko pala magsulat ng isang litanya sa Tagalog.

Ngayon ko lamang napansin na katabi ko pala ang libro ni Bob Ong na “Bakit Baliktad Magbasa Ng Libro Ang Mga Pinoy?” Malamang ito ang naging impluwensya ko sa pagsulat sa wikang Filipino kasi katatapos ko lang itong basahin.

Aminado naman akong sablay ako sa pagdating sa ating sariling wika. Akalain mo ba namang 75 ang final grade ko sa Filipino nung ako’y unang tumapak sa kolehiyo? Samantalang ang English ko naman ay tumataginting na 90. Hindi kaya Americana ako sa aking past life?

Malamang nakokonsensya lang ako sa mga nailathala (malalim yan) sa librong iyon kaya wikang Filipino ang gamit ko ngayon. Masakit man aminin, ngunit halos lahat ng kapintasan ng Pinoy ay naisulat at nailarawan ng maayos ng manunulat. At sa pagkakataong ito, aaminin ko sa inyong lahat, KULELAT AKO!

SEPTEMBER CHILL

2009-09-14T00:49:00.001+08:00

i miss the jc i once knew..

the one who gave time to text just to check up on me..

the one who would move mountains just to be with me..

the love who embraces me when i sleep..

and the one who would look me in the eyes and tell me that he loves me..

if that jc wont totally come back..

i would only ask for a part of it..

just a small part of the old jc..

but if it would be impossible..

then i guess ill just have to accept that some people do change as time passes by..

but despite and inspite..

i love you no less...

i love you..

more than you'll ever know..

This was the message I sent him in his Friendster last September 10, 2008. Every year, this seems to be the month when he becomes cold and I can no longer understand him. It's like the world turned upside down. He's like a riddle I can't solve. An encrypted message I can't decipher. Sometimes, it feels like it is as if he no longer needs me, like a plant that no longer needs the light of day to survive.

September 2006 was somehow different. It was the time when i found out that he still has a girlfriend in Manila. It was a mistake when I didn't listen to the people around me when they told me that he really does have a girlfriend there even before he transferred here in GenSan.

I can't recall what happened on September 2007 but i bet it's the same old thing. Coldness.

And this year, its happening again. I am trying to hold on, but i don't know if I still have something to hold on to. Like a child trying to stand up and walk, waiting for a helping hand to reach out, only to find out that no one is there.

But despite of it all, I am still here.. waiting for the next month, so all could be better again. Hoping and wishing that someday, one day, somehow, the OLD him will come back. But i guess that would all be wishful thinking.

Then again, they say that if you really love the person and had accepted him for who and what he is, the love you feel will never ever change, even if he changes in the middle of the relationship.

Matatapatan Kaya?

2009-08-11T08:36:00.001+08:00

Ang kulit eh.. naisipin kong magblog as a reply to Mader Orman's "Four-year itch". Isa lang ang ang masasabi ko.. Di ko pah nareach ang four years..

Dati kasi, ang pinakamatagal kong relasyon ay pitong buwan lamang. Mahirap na magulo kasi ayaw sa kanya ni Mader Dragon. Pero sige lang.. Go pa rin.. Deadma galore ang say ng mga people around me.

Pagkatapos ni "7 Months", nakilala ko si "1 month". Alam kong meron xang gf sa Manila pero sabi ko sa sarili ko "Sige lang.. malay natin.. Iwan nya yun para sakin." Ako naman etong si Tanga, umaasa-asa pah.. Last part, sila pah rin. Edi hiwalayan na! Alangan namang maghintay pah ko sa impossible? Di na noh!

Wag nyong isipin na silang dalawa lang.. Madami na rin.. Di na kayang isa-isahin. Yun ay dahil sa sobrang iksi ng iba, di ko na maalala..

Ayan na.. nag-end na si "1 month". Ang ironic pah dun, naghiwalay kami sa harapan ng mga kaibigan ko. At eto pah, sa time na yun, nandun din si "ultimate crush" ko that time. Super cute in his uniform at laging nakasmile. Haaaayy... Kahit na in the middle of World War "i dunno what number" kami ni "1 month" naisip ko pah rin na "Sana sa susunod, ang mga ngiting iyon ay nailalatha sa kanyang mga labi dahil sakin". Oha? Anak ng potek! Ang lalim ng tagalog na yan. Ganon kalala ang pagpapantasya ko kay "ultimate crush".

Pagkatapos ng gulo ay nag-catwalk to the exit na ko with my baggy jeans and long sleeved top. Boyish ang dating ni lola! Pero sige, go pah rin!

Sadyang hindi ko makakalimutan ang gabing iyon, dahil SIRA ang network ng SMART.. Delayed ang messages. Nasa 2nd waiting shed na ko ng nagtext si "ultimate crush". "Gusto mo hatid kita sa inyo?" Kahit badtrip na badtrip na ko to the highest level, nakuha ko pah ring kiligin. Yihee! Nireplyan ko syempre.. Sabi ko na kung ihahatid nya ko, sobrang out of the way na sa apartment nila. Sabi nya na ok lang daw, kaya ayun.. Bumigay ang lola mo! Sinundo na nga, hinatid pah..

To cut the story short, aba! Naging kami nga ni "ultimate crush". At hindi na rin "ultimate crush" ang tawag ko sa kanya.. "JC" na.. Sa wakas at nagkapangalan din!

Lumipas ang ilang buwan na araw-araw kong sinasabi ko sa sarili ko at sa mga kaibigan ko "Maghihiwalay na kami next month". Siguro, sa daming beses kong inulit-ulit kakasabi ng linyangyun ay di ko na matandaan ang bilang. Pano naman kasi, ikwento nya bah naman ang halos buong buhay nya. Dagdagan pah ng factor na "Manila Boy" na, "Gangster" pah!

Hanggang isang araw ay napagod na ko at hinayaan ko na lang lumipas ang mga buwan.. Ika nga nila "Just go with the flow". At ayun na nga.. 3 taon na ang lumipas at hanggang ngayon ay kami pah rin.. At ngayon, naiisip ko.. matatapatan ko kaya ang " Four-year Itch" ni Mader Orman? :D

Dayo: Sa Mundo ng Elementalia

2009-07-02T23:16:00.001+08:00

"Dayo: Sa Mundo ng Elementalia" is a Filipino inspired animated movie which was created by 600 Filipino Animators. 300 came from Cutting Edge and 300 came from different parts of NAGA. It is one of the 8 featured films during the 2008 Metro Manila Film Fest. Starring the voices of Nash Aguas and Hopia of Going Bulilit, with the theme song "Lipad" sung by Ms. Leah Salonga. And this will be shown at the KCC Convention Center on July 14 or 15, 2009.

This is a film that portrays not just Pinoy Artistry but also Filipino culture and values, as well as local folklore and mythology.

This is supported by various high schools, colleges and universities in the city, the Department of Education, TESDA, Department of Trade and Industry, Chamber of Commerce and Industry, SMEDCI, KCC Mall of Gensan, The General Santos City - Local Government Unit, and the Philippine National red Cross. And is endorsed by the National Council for Children's Television with Grade A rating by the Cinema Evalution Board.

The ticket is only Php100 to include the accident insurance coverage up to Php12,000 being an automatic member of the Philippine National Red Cross. Both the insurance benefit and membership may be designated to any 6 to 25 years old.

There will be other FUN FILLED excitement and surprises as well as learning to further enhance and develop your skills and talents in animation.

See you there!!!

Be Informed.. Be Inspired.. Be Involved.. and Be Part of the Solution.

LOVING YOU IS EASY COZ YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

2009-06-30T15:52:00.001+08:00

In this world where people are vain, the word “pretty” is often used as a sign of appreciation to the one who looks like an actor or actress seen on movies and televisions. They are the ones who have slim bodies, fair complexions, tall, perfect teeth, and shiny black hair.

What about those who don’t posses such qualities? We cannot deny the fact that there are people who are round, short, skinny, dark skin tone, crooked teeth and flat noses. Are they not pretty in the eyes of the judgmental society? Then again, who are we to judge?

We live in a cruel, demented world where people would discriminate you or look down of you if what they termed “acceptable” could not be seen in you. Those are the people who will pull you down even if you are successful. And it is all because of the word “insecurity”.

Honestly, I am one of the victims of insecurities. I wished I was taller.. wished my skin tone was fairer.. wished I was prettier.

For three years, I have often bugged my boyfriend with the question: “Why me? I am not as pretty as your exes back in Manila.” He would ask back: “Are you not pretty?” Of course, my answer would be a big “NO”.

One day, I asked him the same question again: “Why me? I am not as pretty as your exes back in Manila.” Then, he smiled at me, pulled me closer to him and hugged me. Then, he whispered in my ear: “Sweetie, you’re not pretty.. You’re beautiful.”

Those words weakened my knees. As if it were jellies wobbling that I had to cling on to him for support.

With those words, he made me realize that sometimes; physical appearance is not the most important factor when in a relationship. Sometimes, its how he/she looks at you in the most loving way without having regrets that it’s you they chose.

Whether you are tall or short, slim or round, fair toned or not, at the end of they day, those would not matter after all. Because at the end of the day, you would still find yourself back into the arms of that someone whom you love and sees you in the most beautiful way.. inside.. and out..

The Personality of Men Today (10/12/2007)

2009-06-26T21:34:00.001+08:00

The Personality of Men Today

Have you ever heard of the song “Grow Old with You” by Adam Sandler? It tells how a man could devote himself to a woman he loves and also how a woman would like to be treated by a man.

Though every woman has a vision of what a perfect man should be, it would still come to the conclusion that they want someone who’s responsible, caring, honest, loyal, respectful, patient,

understanding and would accept them for who and what they are.

Nowadays, that vision of the so-called “perfect man” could only be seen on tv’s, the silver screen and on the pages of story books and novels I’ve read.

During time, men had evolved into this being that no one can understand the totality of him.

Men in general are most likely the most insensitive beings on this planet. Insensitivity happens by choice because all humans have feelings. It’s just that men pretend not to feel and acts so blindly so they won’ see. They become unaware of the feelings of the people

around them. They don’t realize that they are causing pain. It’s as if emotions are irrelevant and that it can be brushed off and forgotten.

Men have animalistic behaviors which tend to come out when they see women in sexy clothing. Like a mad dog, they can’t contain their drools. Their eyes grow bigger that its usual size. They gawk at the sight of these women. It’s like their brains are located in their groins. And based on my friends who are men, mostly, they are only after sex.

Men nowadays are egoistic beings. They don’t like their egos being stepped on. For them, it would be like being degraded as a man. Their machismo would be lost once their ego is targeted.

In the aspect of courtship, men can be the meekest of all people. They show off by treating the girl that they are courting with utmost respect, care and supposedly express their undying “love”

towards her. Buys her chocolates and roses, text her very now and then, goes out with her and watch movie together. But when the courtship ends, and the woman oh so willingly says “YES” and that she loves him too, all those things would turn into crap. Eventually, the “real” he slowly surfaces, which is devastatingly the total opposite of the person who had courted her. The roses

and chocolates no longer came, lesser text messages, no more going out, and definitely no more movies together. Totally snubbing the woman and takes her for granted.

Another thing is that what men term as friendship is merely a partnership with a collection of reciprocal interests and an exchange of favors – in fact, it is but a trade in which self-love

always expects to gain something.

Most men don’t know how to keep their word. Just like what Swift said. “Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.” Men make promises to their women only to find out in the end that it’s not going to happen. And with this, men become liars in every way. They will make the women believe in everything they say, but then again, all were just lies formulated in order to capture the women’s attention, interest and sympathy.

All of these things are unbelievably true. And sometimes, it just makes me wish that I could go back.. Back to when the only guy in my life was my father, my only best friend is my mother, and anything could be healed with a band-aid and lollipop. But those days no longer exists. What’s real is here and now.

With all of these things, I perceive men today as TOTAL JERKS.

The point here is that men have dark sides, but they also have a good side. It only depends on which side you choose to look into and embrace. Now you may realize that there is no such thing as the perfect man. He simply doesn’t exist in this world. What can only be seen here is the right guy who’s meant for a woman out there.

The things that I’ve written here are the majority of what men are like in this day and age. Still there are a few good men walking around this planet. Though the chances of finding one are 1 in

a billion, you must not lose hope. You just have to wait for him to come your way. That someone might be “the one” whom you can grow old with despite the odds of facing the personality of men today. So if you ever find that “someone”, who’s the opposite of my statements here, don’t let him slip away. I know I won’t, coz I’ve already have one of the best.

PReTeND (06/20/2007)

2009-06-26T21:33:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, we have to give up something or someone at one point in our lives..

We have to sacrifice our own happiness for the sake of the happiness of others..

Sometimes we have to keep the tears from falling just to show the world that we're OK..

But deep inside, our hearts are broken into a billion pieces..

Dreams crushed..

Visions of the future are now a blurry..

Sometimes we blame someone for that loss..

Then again, life goes on..

Now..

I face the world in a mask of a happy face..

To ignore the pain..

To go on with my life..

Bearing the pain of yesterday..

Buried deep within me..

whew! (01/16/2007)

2009-06-26T21:31:00.001+08:00

Time pass by so quickly..its been ages since ive written here..i am still a prisoner..but now, i am alone..i no longer have my inmates with me..no one to talk to..no one to be with..

Days drag by slowly..each agonizing day,i listen to the quietness and stillness of my cell..the bars are so cold..leaving me feeling empty..

I tried to scream for help..no one can hear me..i was left crying..till the time comes for the crickets to play their symphony again..

I have been a prisoner for so long..but freedom is not what i am after..i want my prison guard to feel compassion towards me..to make me feel as if i am cared for though i am cuffed..

When the time comes that i am free..i will no longer see the light of day..i am to be buried 6 feet under the ground..and during my funeral,i want all to know that i had died coz of a common heart disease..

The Prisoner (11/13/2006)

2009-06-26T21:25:00.001+08:00

its been a while since the last time i have written here... u might think that im busy in school...or that ive got a million and one things to do in my spare time... well, guess what? u are all wrong...

ive been a prisoner... got no other route...no outings...no gimiks...on second thought...i am more than just a prisoner enclosed in a four-wall cell...i have been chained on the wrist, ankle and waist...i am no longer free...

but being the prisoner doesnt mean total isolation...i have my buddies who are ex-cons...they have tried to escape many times from the clutches of their own prison guards...but unluckily, there was no escaping them...

still, this said prison has its advantages... what are those? its a secret..